Bailing Out Companies Doesn't Make Sense

There is something fundamentally wrong with the corporate world and it's called greed. For the past 30 years and maybe even longer than that, corporations have been looking out for themselves and not caring about their workers. The bottom line is what counted. There have been countless movies that feature the bosses as uncaring jerks who is always willing to sacrifice lower level workers for healthier profit margins. All of this finally caught up with us this year and now companies are asking the government to bail them out.

Bailing out these companies is the worst thing we can do because even though the executives that ran the companies into the ground are no longer there (in most cases), the corporate mentality that got everybody to that point in the first place will not be changed. At some point in the future, we will be back here again because of greed. Also, it's not just the corporate execs that are guilty of being greedy, it's the people on "Main Street" as well, playing the stock market like if it's a low stakes gambling operation. You put your money at risk, be prepared to lose it all.

I think you should let these companies die. Lessons have to be learned, no matter how hard of a lesson it is. It's survival of the fittest and time to let those who have brought us to this point, be put down. They are all smart people and can rebound, create new companies and instill practices that they learned from this experience. It is time for a new generation of American companies to come to the fore-front and, with the lessons learned from the past, take our country to financial golden age once again...

Media Biased Against McCain???

To all of you people out there thinking that the media is reporting negatively against McCain vs. Obama, let me just say one thing. McCain made his bed and now he has to sleep in it. Most of these negative stories come about because McCain or Palin has done something to negative. This bias that you claim is out there is because McCain is running a horrible campaign. It is not like these negative stories are untrue. It seems like both McCain and Palin, since the Republican convention, have made horrible decisions (more so than Obama and Biden) and the press has called them out on it. You want to say that's a bias?

Obama and Biden aren't angels but at least, they do a good job of damage control and keeping themeselves out of trouble. They made better decisions that their Republican counterparts. If the reporting was untrue, I would be on your side, but, I see this as nothing but finding some reason to blame why you are about to lose the presidency. Grow up.

To You Republicans, I ask - So What?

I spent the last couple of weeks watching various youtube videos of people walking into republican rallies and talking trash about Obama. The one "insult" that keeps coming up is that Obama is a Muslim/that he's not a Christian. This has been something that has been hounding Obama since the start of his campaign. Well, I ask this. So what if he was a Muslim? When did being a Muslim become a bad thing? What this tells me is that there is a larger number of close minded people in this country than we are all comfortable to admit. I have to admit that there are close minded people who are supporting Obama as well but I am most disturbed by the language from the videos I seen from those McCain/Palin rallies. It is time that we admit that as a nation, we have a problem with being close minded. We need to start working on this problem so we can stop looking like a nation of idiots.

Just Wondering...

I was just wondering, why is McCain taking credit for the Surge?  Yes, we brought in more troops to cover more area but as I recall, the fact that the Sunni's decided to fight against Al-Queda had a bit more to do with the improvement of the security situation than the increase of our troop levels.  How come nobody talks about the Sunni involvement in the situation at all?  

Now, there is a call for a modified version of the surge for Afghanistan, i think by both candidates.  Will that work without the cooperation of the locals?  Do the locals like us much with all of the bombing that we do that claim innocent lives?  No matter how smart the weapon we drop, how often are innocent civilians caught in the cross hairs and killed because they had the misfortune to be standing near a high priority target for the US Military?  I was just wondering...

Presidential Debate

I just finished watching the presidential debate and something stuck out at me that McCain had said that just doesn't sit right. He said, at the end of answering the question regarding Israel and if we would attack Iran if they are attacked, that we cannot allow a 2nd holocaust. I ask why? What obligation do we have to prevent the eradication of their race and not the Hutus and Tutsis? Why do we value their lives over those in Dafur? Both candidates were asked if they would use the military to stop genocides in areas such as Rwanda and Sudan and they both said that they would be cautious about using our military. Do I want Israel to get "Wiped off the map"? No. But, I do not believe that their lives are more valuable than those in other areas.

Witchcraft

What witchcraft do you hold upon me Keeping my soul tormented Not letting me leave I know it is what I must do And I have tried many times before But I am drawn back to you As if called back by the Siren Song Knowing doom is what lays before me Is it that serious? Am I to beckon your call Only to crash into the rocks And what if I shall leave Why do I feel a loneliness As vast as space itself When you are not in my arms? It is but one life that we have That is what you say Truer words have never been spoken But yet I feel that my one life Is forever tied to yours Regardless of what paths we take This is your voodoo The spell that you have casted This is our fate By R.Santana © 2008 R.Santana (All rights reserved)

9/11

September 11, 2001 is one of those days that we will always remember what we were exactly doing. I woke up that morning to a phone call from my friend Marc who told me to turn on the TV and a minute after turning it on, the second plane hit. Life would be different for all of us from that point on.

Here we are, approaching September 11, 2008 and the question i ask each and every one of you is this: have we done the right thing?

We went into Afghanistan and took out the Taliban because they were harboring Al-Queda. We went after Bin-Laden and his group and that was a choice I think all Americans can live with. We demanded justice and we were out to get it. But, then it all changed. It no longer was about bringing to justice those who committed mass murder. We went in 2003 and attacked Iraq in the name of "The War on Terror". Saddam had WMD and supported Al-Queda and was a danger to the US. That is what we were told and most people went along with it. What we have learned since then was that everything we were told about why we needed to take out Iraq was wrong. There were no WMD, Al-Queda was not in cahoots with Iraq and Saddam was in no position to be a threat to us. But, it's too late. To many American people, Iraq and 9/11 are one and the same. In our society, you question this and your patriotism is questioned.

What has 9/11 become? It's sickening to see politicians from all sides using 9/11 as a platform to obtain votes. It's heartbreaking to see our focus not on those who are responsible for the attack, but on radical Islam. It's worrying that the world wide support for our country in the aftermath of the attack has eroded due to our reckless and narrow minded polices. Finally, it frightens me to see that our personal freedoms are being taken away from us in the name of security. I said it before and I'll say it again. Freedom and Security has never walked hand in hand. When one says that we must give up some of our freedom to be secure, we are no longer living in the land of the free and home of the brave.

So, on 9/11, I will take time to think about those who lost their lives on that day. I will keep their families in my thoughts and prayers.

Laptop With a View

So, I got a new laptop. It's awesome. I love it. It even has a built in webcam. What's so great about that? I'm not sure but I'm going to find out!

Georgia on my Mind

Georgia got their butt whooped the past week and we stood by and watched. This is a nation that very recently was trying to secure membership into NATO, which would have meant if they were attacked, the US and most of western Europe would have had to come to their aid. Europe realized just how dangerous it is to accept a former Soviet republic into NATO and declined to do so but the US is very vocal on getting them in.

Now, what I want to say is this: We need to be careful of what we say and how we act on a global scale. If we promise protection and aid to a country when things are going well but abandon them when the going is tough, how will other countries perceive us? We have left Pervez Musharraf hanging in Pakistan, as he faces impeachment. We only talked tough on Georgia's behalf as Russia's military did what they pleased and advanced whenever they wanted against inferior forces. If I was Poland, I would start to think about backing out of the agreement they just signed with the US to have ballistic missile interceptors based within their borders. Russia has already threatened to use military force to ensure the base will not be built. Will the US stand up militarily against Russia if war comes to Poland? Ask Georgia and Mr. Musharraf what US support really means and the answer will be obvious. It's a resounding No.

My Father

Twelve years ago, I found out that the person who I thought was my father, wasn't. Since then, I had tried to find out who is my real father. Nobody in my family would tell me, for whatever reasons they may have had. My mom refused to tell me. Twelve years.

A couple days ago, I sat down with my mom and she told me my story, even if it was the abridged version. I now know his name. I know my name too, since I wasn't born a Santana. I picked that up when my mom married my step father when I was two. I know....

And what changed? Nothing. I may not have been born a Santana but I AM a Santana. It is all I know. I am no different now that I know who my father is than when i didn't know. The only difference between now and before is that I know the name of one more stranger in this world.

My Old Blogs...

I am deleting my MySpace account and decided to take some of my old blogs with me. So, I'm posting them here. It's really interesting to read some of the stuff now.

Monday, March 13, 2006 - Protesting

Okay, so this is a little late but I had to say something about it. I was watching the protests here in Chicago against the anti-immigration law being pushed through congress. Before I say anything else, it was a very moving experience and gave me hope that people will rise up to challenge what they see as being unfair. I was very proud to see so many people speaking out in what they believe, and at the same time, going about it in a peaceful manner.

The one thought that came back into my mind was this. The protest will amount to nothing, in the long run. Nobody will care that more than 100,000 people rallied for immirant rights. And I was right. How much news did the event take up? Nobody's talking about it today and it happened last week! The largest single rally in god knows how long in Chicago and it's no longer news the next day. The bill in question will pass. Why? Because of the sheer amount of people out there who are scared of "immigrants". Nevermind that we a nation of immigrants, founded on the notion of taking in other countries cast aways. But, at some point, we closed our doors to those who we deemed worthless. There's no more opportunity here. Unless you happen to have an advanced degree in computer programming. Then, according to the law in question, the process of gaining a VISA is easy. Going for your Ph. D. in Computer Science? If you agree to work for an American Company, you can stay all you want!

So, yeah, the protest did fail and the bill will pass, maybe after be altered so that doctors and social workers won't have to face charges for helping out illegal immigrants. It makes the whole thing really sad.

Sunday, June 18, 2006 - Democracy

I've been trying to figure out how to word this and I think I got it. Here's the reason why we will not succeed in Iraq. We, the US, are a bunch of arrogant assholes who believe that it's either our way or the highway.

We are in Iraq, attempting to install a democratic government and most of us can't believe that there are people who are fighting against the democratic values that we are trying to install. That's just it, though. We are approaching this like we are in a lab and there is a formula to follow. We expect that once A is done, B will happen and will lead to C and so on. That just won't happen.

We have to take into account the Iraqi people and their beliefs. They are a deeply religious and very proud people (Baghdad is the birthplace of Algebra and was once the leading center for the sciences throughout the world). They have a history that pre-dates any European civilization and have seen most of the civilized people (Greeks, Romans, etc.) come and go. They are not Americans by no means but the form of democracy that we are forcing down their throats is purely American. Democracy is not something that is rigid, inflexible and does not take into account the social makeup of the people. Democracy is something that is supposed to sprout from the social makeup of the people. They use their social values and common sense to create a form of government that best works for them, not accept a form of democracy that worked for a totally different group of people with different values.

Democracy is like a poem. What the poem says will remain the same but it can and will be interpreted different ways, depending on the experiences and background of the reader.

So, think about it for a second. I know my blog might not be the best written argument that I could have put forth but I only write first drafts and I write from my heart. We need to realize that we are making a huge mistake and stop meddling in the Iraqi people's affairs. It is time that we let them learn for themselves just what democracy is and how to apply it to their lives.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - Relationships

The biggest mistake that you can make in a relationship is not being yourself when you first meet people. If a person cannot accept you for who you are, then don't be with/associate with that person.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Communication is necessary for any relationship. The other person is not a mind reader and cannot know how you feel about anything unless you tell them. Dont expect for the other person to just know when something is wrong. At the same time, make sure that what you are saying has some meaning. Dont say things just to say them. If you do, beware of the consequences. Understand that for the most part, once you say something, you can never take it back. Its already out there so make sure you mean what you are saying.

Trust. This is what a relationship is all about. Think about it. There is no relationship if there is no trust. It doesnt matter what kind of relationship, friendship, co-workers, husband/wife, trust DEFINES a relationship. That being said, you cant date someone and not trust that person. If you are feeling insecure about the relationship, talk about it with your partner. If you still feel insecure about the relationship, then make the choice of dealing with it or getting out.

Related to trust is faith. You need to have faith that the other person in the relationship will be there, have your back, do the right thing and not hurt you. You have to give the person this faith blindly (if you are religious, then you already do it, you have blind faith in God, why not in another human?) and it is that persons to lose. If the other person does something to lose your faith in him/her, then dont beat yourself up for trusting that person, learn from it and move on.

No relationship is perfect. Because the relationship involves two imperfect people, the relationship itself is inherently flawed. Once you understand this, you can see that the key to being in a lasting relationship is dealing with the imperfections. No relationship is easy. You have to be always working at the relationship, no matter how good it may be. Theres always room for improvement.

Finally, leave your past relationships out of your current one. The person standing before you is not the person you were with so dont treat them like it. You chose to be in the relationship, and its not fair to both parties if you are judging a person by your previous experiences. Not all men and women are alike. Because your ex cheated on you, doesnt mean that all your future partners will. If this is your mentality, then you have no business being in a relationship. Clearly, you have not gotten over your past experiences and I cannot not stress how unfair this is for any new relationships. Youre relationship will be doomed from the start.

Ill add new ones later, I have to go to work. Bye.

Monday, July 31, 2006 - Who Am I?

At some point, I stopped caring what other people thought of me. Well, for the most part. There was a time when I was consumed by the idea that I had to fit in. I then realized that I don't really fit in anywhere and have since come to grips with that. Actually, I wouldn't have it any other way. Coming from a mixed heritage (Mexican and Haitian), I saw the world without a racial barrier. I still do not see how people could justify not interacting with others because of race. As I grew older, I began to stop grouping people by religion or sexual orientation. None of that really matters in the long run, since anything you can say about one group of people can apply to any other group of people.

That's it.

Monday, October 23, 2006 - ....

So, Saturday night, a brick shattered the front window of my apartment. I noticed it, went outside and flagged down a cop car that was passing by. They came in, filed a police report and left, not really looking for the brick (it's still on the front porch). Well, I'm writing this blog because there's more to the story and I don't know what to do. The person who is responsible for the brick is named Porky. Yeah, that's his name. He is an SD. He's 20 years old and lives two houses away from me. I'm pretty sure he got someone else to throw the brick but he is the one who wanted it done. Let me tell you about Porky.

This kid was sent to jail for something he supposedly didn't do. He took the blame for someone else because he's in a gang. So, when I moved into my neighborhood, he was locked up. Well, he got released and is on parole. You would figure that if you are on parole, you have to follow a strict schedule and your activities are monitored. Well, not Porky. He checks in whenever he feels like it and is always out and about. You would also figure that he would be required to find a job, finish school, do something else but he keeps his lazy butt on the street. He had a job for a while, selling drugs from his house but I don't see them doing that anymore. The cops know who he is and they had him in cuffs a couple of times since he's been released.

The whole time, his family has defended him, out of love, and have said that he's not that bad. Really, he doesn't fit the mold, if there is one, of someone in a gang. Both of his parents are together, they both love and care for him. His family, is by far, not a bad family. But, he became an SD and that's all he lives for now. Well, now he has hit his girlfriend, twice that I know of. He has yelled at his mom, who protects him regardless of he situation, and has hit his dad. This brings us to Saturday night.

I am dating Porky's sister. She is a great girl and even though we had some rough times, we are at the point where I feel the rough times are behind us… well, outside of this glaring problem. Porky, my girlfriend and her children all live in the same house. I was over with my girlfriend, trying to decide what to do. Porky enters and uses the house phone to call his mom to ask for the car. His mom says no. Well, he proceeds to call her a bitch. My girlfriend told him that he shouldn't call him that and he got pissed. He started saying how he's an SD and doesn't have to listen to anybody. He started dropping f-bombs everywhere, saying that he could do anything he wanted and she nor I was going to stop him. I kept my mouth shut since he's a punk and I really didn't want any trouble. I finally get my girlfriend to come into the room and close the door. She keeps talking and he hears her, tells her to fuck herself and to shut up. Well, my girlfriend doesn't like it and now we have round 2.

Porky next says that he's going to hit her. He says "fuck you and your kids too", at which point, my girlfriend gets really upset (you don't talk about anybody's kids). She is yelling at the top of her lungs at this point. Now, I'm not sure what was said but it is at this point that he gets closer to her and says that he's going to hit her. Now, as much as I keep my mouth shut, it's not out of fear but because Porky is pretty puny, barely 150 pounds and so I would stomp on him. It wouldn't even be a fair fight. But, when he approached my girlfriend, I told him that he wasn't going to do anything. He looked at me and said that he is going to shoot me once I come outside and "we'll see what's up". Ever since then, I've seen him once more, Sunday afternoon, talking to his dad. He saw me glaring at him and he just smiled. That's when I knew he was responsible for throwing the brick.

Now, what's the point of my blog? It's that our justice system is flawed. I can go to the police and say all of this but they won't do anything because I don't have hard evidence. Nobody saw him throw the brick and just because he said what he said, he did not act upon his threat. It'll be my word against his and his mom because she will protect and lie for him. She has done so in the past. As a matter of fact, the moms said that it's my fault for opening my mouth. My girlfriend is worried now because he is liable to shoot me or jump me on my way home. And it won't be me fighting just him, he'll bring his whole crew with him.

The system must change. Everybody knows who is doing what in the neighborhood, even the cops but they won't do anything until something happens.

Friday, March 02, 2007 - Haiti

So I went to Haiti a couple of weeks ago. Before I went, I read up on the news coming from Haiti, saw the State Department's travel warning (which in hindsight, is the funniest thing ever!) and caught up on the history/demographics on websites like wikipedia and through the CIA's world fact book website. After taking in information from all of those sources, all signs were pointing to a very unsafe, negative and poverty stricken environment.

The flight from Miami to Port-au-Prince was pretty short, 1 ½ hours. We flew American Airlines and my only complaint is that a ceiling panel was about to fall out and the crew kept walking pass and tried to bang it back into place. Not a pleasant sight for me since I was already on edge since I did not know what to expect. As soon as the plane landed, I told myself that I will go ahead and take in this experience with an open mind because sometimes, you just have to find out for yourself just what the situation is. So, with that, I stepped off the plane.

Let me tell you. It was damn hot! I mean 95 degrees hot! I know it was hot because we got off the plane like they use to in the old days. They drove staircases to the exits of the plane and people just stepped off onto the tarmac. Awesome! Engine still running and all! As I stepped off the plane, I looked around and I saw mountains. I mean, they were everywhere. So, my first thoughts of the country were that it's hot and has lots of mountains. Not bad.

It has taken me a while to be able to express how I felt there. Maybe because, it was shocking just how a lot of what I read about Haiti was wrong. We traveled along the Caribbean coast, stopping in towns such as Jacmel and Port-Salute and Tiburon, I never felt unsafe. The countryside was beautiful, with mountains on one side and the coast on the other, all underneath a hot sun that occasionally hid behind a puffy white cloud, it was like something was wrong with my vision because I felt that all the colors were just too vibrant to be real. Take a look at the pictures of the first day of Carnival and you'll understand.

The people were friendly. Well, they weren't unfriendly but they looked at us with a curiosity that lasted as long as at it took for us to drive past. We stopped in a town and parked next to what was a college. There were students all around and they looked at us for a moment and two to wonder who we were and went about their lives. Nobody came to try to kidnap us and few people approached to beg for money.

I have to get going and I know I did a bad job of describing my experience there. I will write another blog to complete my story but in the meantime, if you want to know how it felt to be there for me, try to find and listen to Richard Pryor's stand-up bit about when he went to Africa for the first time. That is my experience.

Thursday, March 15, 2007 - Freedom vs. Safety

I was asked, not too long ago, "which would I rather have, Freedom or Safety?" At first, it seems like a difficult question. I mean, everybody wants to be free AND safe, right? Why do I have to choose between the two? Then I thought about it. The choice is not that hard at all. As a matter of fact, it's a lot easier of a question than we realize. If faced with the choice, I will pick freedom, 100%, hands down every time. Ask George Washington if he wanted to be free or safe, I'm sure he'll back me up on this. You see, freedom has never, ever been safe. As a matter of fact, to be free is to live in constant danger. Throughout history, humans have always tried to make others subservient and those who were subservient strived to be free. There will always be people out there trying to take away our freedom and we must always fight them.

So, if this question is so simple, why is there so much debate on the subject? Well, since the dawn of time, humanity strived for safety. It's something that is embedded into our very being. We need to be safe. That's why it takes a special person to risk their safety for someone else, put their lives on the line for an ideal or a purpose. When faced with the choice of being free or being safe, people are faced with choosing between something that we all strived for (safety) and something that is actually very foreign to mankind (freedom). You can't fight me on this, history is filled with civilizations that enslaved others. It is what we know, it was how we lived. Hell, even the bible listed rules regarding slavery (Leviticus 25:44-46) (Exodus 21:20-21) (Titus 2:9-10) and not one of them says to set them free. Freedom is a foreign concept to humanity. This is why we pick safety. This is why so many are okay with the loss of a few personal freedoms. They collectively scream "I WANT TO BE SAFE!"

I brought up George Washington earlier to make a point. He faced enemies that came from across an ocean to fight him. He also faced enemies that might have lived next door. There were a lot of colonists that didn't want freedom but wanted to be safe. They would rather be subjected to the rule of the King of England than rather control their own destinies. If it meant that they would be inconvenienced, they wanted no part of it. Why upset the status quo? England provided protection from the French and the Indians. They provided a way of life that made living for most colonists comfortable. They offered stability. The colonists were safe. Why upset that? Think about that the next time someone tells you that we must give up some of our personal freedoms to be safe. Think about how George Washington, Benjamin Franklin and the rest of our founding fathers would have felt if they were asked to do the same. Sure, we live in more dangerous times and our enemies are many but to be American is to be free. We owe it to all those that came before us to fight for our freedom. To sit back and let our freedoms be taken away in the name of safety is the greatest of insults to those who have fought and died for those very freedoms that we willingly give away.

Monday, April 16, 2007 - Hurricane Katrina CNN Interview

I remember sitting on my sofa and watching CNN reports about hurricane Katrina approaching New Orleans. The night before the storm hit, a reporter went along the gulf coast and interviewed people. One person they interviewed had his family behind him. The reporter asked the question that was probably on everybody's mind, "What the hell are you still doing here? Why don't you leave!" The guy looked at the reporter and said that he had no way to leave. He was a fisherman and had no money, his truck was busted and nobody was coming to get them out. So, the best thing that he could do was to move his family into his fishing boat (it was a trowler so had room for his family) and sweat out the storm there. I remember thinking how insane that would be, to ride out a hurricane in a boat. I felt sorry for the family.

It wasn't until I recently received an email with pictures taken as the hurricane made landfall that I remembered them. I scoured through the CNN archives but can not find any mention of the family. I was hoping that they would have done a follow up, just to see if they had survived.

Sunday, January 06, 2008 - Black President?

The question was, "Is this world ready for a black president". My answer is:

I'm not even going to read the rest of the comments, I'm going to reply to your question. What's the difference between a black or white president? Can one race be better than the other? What about hispanics or asians? Can a woman be a better president than a man? Should we ever elect someone who is of islamic faith? Focusing on the race, sex, religion of a candidtate has nothing to do with what the candidates stand for or their ability to lead this nation. We are electing somone to lead us and the ONLY qualities that we should focus on are those that offer proof that the person we elect IS THE BEST CANDIDATE for the job, not if he/she is man or woman, black or white.

I share the same sentiment with you in regards to our society, I do not believe that a majority of people are ready for a black president, or a woman president for that matter. It's really sad that that is the case.

Is this nation ready for a black president? I believe a better question would be, is this nation ready to look past differences and elect a great president. I'm not saying that Obama would be a great president, but until we stop choosing people to lead us for all the wrong reasons (HE looks "presidential", HE outraised his opponents, ect.) and start looking at candidates that show us that they can lead this great nation, we wil always sell ourselves short. We will always do this country a great disservice.

Now, I am going to ask you all to do two things for me. First, vote in the upcoming elections. Second, vote for the person who you think is the BEST person for the job. It doesn't matter if it's democrat or republican, black or white, man or woman. Do your research, find out what the candidates stand for and vote for who you think is best qualified. There is no such thing as a wasted vote.

Friday, July 20, 2007 - Politicians

I was on a train, heading to work and overheard a lady say that all politicians have failed the average citizens. That comment hit me like a ton of bricks, and up until now, I didn't know why.

Politicians haven't failed the citizens. We know who and what we are getting when we elect our officials. We know that this person will not live up to their campaign promises, for the most part. We know that they will face enormous pressure from big businesses to come into the fold and vote certain ways. We know that at the end of the day, no matter what your platform states, our elected representatives will have to play the game, compromising the interests of their constituents if needed.

No, our politicians have not failed us because we know all of this and still vote for them. If it is anybody who has failed the citizens, it is the citizens themselves. We have a responsibility in this whole system to hold our elected officials, NO MATTER WHO THAT PERSON IS, to be accountable for their actions. We choose these people because we feel that they will have OUR BEST INTEREST in mind when they make decisions. It is OUR JOB to make sure they follow through.

We, for the most part, have sat here and taken everything that they dished out. We believe every word that they say, without doing our research. We sit here with the notion that we cannot change anything and it is not our job to interfere with the government. But, we do cause change by our votes and it is our job to have a say in government because THEY ARE WORKING FOR US! It is their job to serve the citizens of the United States and we let them off with a free pass because we lost track of how the system is supposed to work.

7/9/08 Update

Another update, but not much has changed. Still not working and it's beginning to upset me. But, there is nothing I can do but continue on and keep sending my resume out. I know of people who have been out of work for as long or even longer than I have so I know it's not just me. But, still, this is ridiculous!

So, in the meantime, I have been playing a lot of volleyball. I also have been helping a friend paint her house and will help out someone in their shop. It's not work but it's something to keep me busy, which is what I need. I'm also thinking about becoming a bartender... I think about it sometimes and feel that that is something I can excel at. It would be fun so I'm looking into doing that until something else comes along. We'll see.

So, that's my update. Insomnia is still here, but I'm getting better. I got about 6 hours of sleep the past two nights, which is pretty good, compared to the past two weeks.

What the @#% is a Birthmonth???

Alright, last year, I tried to bring out the 30 days of fun for my 30th birthday but halfway through it, I lost my job and had to cancel the rest of it.

Well, almost a year later and still out of work, my 31st birthday is coming up and I've been thinking long and hard about what I'm going to do. While it's not going to be an all out, balls to the wall bash that I want it to be, I am going to celebrate my birthmonth in style.

For those of you guys that have known me for a while, my previous five birthdays have been extended parties. First, when I turned 25, I celebrated for a weekend. Once I turned 26 (my golden birthday), I celebrated for 2 weeks and have tried to do that ever since. So, turning 30 last year brought about a new concept for me... celebrating my birthmonth. I never made a big deal about my birthday in the past, and I am always going out of my way to help other people so I feel that I can get away with taking the whole month of September as an excuse to go out and have fun with friends and family.

So, what do I have in store? Well, I thought of all the things that I like to do and will try my best to do all of them within the 30 days of September. First off, I LOVE food so I will be dining at some of my favorite restaurants. So far, I will be having Persian, Vietnamese, Cuban, Puerto Rican, Dim Sum and Sushi. I only need to find a sushi restaurant and that part of my birthmonth celebration will be completely planned out.

Next, I love sports so I will be attending a White Sox game (and hopefully, a Bears game too but since I'm out of a job, we'll have to wait and see if I do that). I should also be able to put together a softball team (12" softball) and our basketball league will be back so I can keep myself busy with all of those activities!

I will also have a Karaoke party. I haven't done that in a long time but last time I did it, I had 20 people out with me, singing and having a good time. You don't have to sing but it's always fun to just watch bad singers (i.e. me) go up and make a fool out of themselves. I think I can get more than 20 people this time around to come out and have some fun.

Finally, the plan is to be in Vegas on my actual birthday (September 26), which is on a Friday this year. Once again, not working is a problem with planning this but going to Vegas combines my love for traveling, partying and playing poker and craps all into one weekend! I know of a few people who'll be able to go with me so I'm hoping that it happens.

So, that's what I mean by birthmonth... Even though it sounds outrageous and complicated, it's pretty simple and just as long as my main goal is achieved, having a fun time with my family and friends, then I'm happy and don't care what happens. Happy Birthmonth to me!

6/19/08 Update

It's been a while since i wrote about anything. So, I figured I would give an update. I'm still unemployed, even though I had a couple of good interviews. I just turned in a mock project I had to do for a conference production company I interviewed with last week and am waiting to hear back on how I did. I have another interview on Monday so we'll see how it goes.

I've been playing a lot of volleyball but I haven't been working out or running as much as I should have. I signed up for the Race to the Taste, to be held on June 29 and I'm running the 200 meters in a track meet at Jackson Park on July 10.

I started talking with my ex, Jessica, again. Not talking as in getting back together but in trying to maintain a friendship. Some people may find it weird but I know it's possible. I still talk with my ex-fiance (Dorie) and actually, they became good friends as well. Jessica is a good person, she has a big heart and her willingness to help anybody is something I find admirable. People like her don't come around too often so I would like to keep her in my life.

Let's see, what else? I'm suffering from Insomnia again, which kind of sucks. I guess that's it. So, there's my update. More later.

Thunder in Nebraska

I love thunderstorms. I love to watch them and hear the thunder rumble and even sometimes go out in the rain. Well, thunderstorms in Chicago vs. ones here in Nebraska are two totally different things!

Last night, we just got back from the Sand Hills trip and I heard about the tornadoes that struck Colorado. Well, those storms were heading right for us! I went to sleep around 1 in the morning, only to be awoken at 3 to some of the deepest rumblings of thunder I ever heard/felt. The wind was blowing like crazy out, the rain slamming against the house and lightning was flashing everywhere. I do have to admit that for a brief moment, there was some fear of maybe a tornado striking but I was so amazed by the lightning that I quickly forgot about it. I was like a little kid again and after about thirty minutes of watching the storm, I went to sleep and had some of the best sleep I've had in a long time.

I'm watching the weather channel and see that we're supposed to get some good storms again. We just had a brief storm blow by with some hail. It looks like the big storms should hit around 3 again. I hear thunder off to the distance and the wind chimes outside will make it hard to go to sleep. Hopefully, I get a repeat of last night. It'll be a long time before I see another storm like this again!

May 22

Well, today was interesting. Alison and I decided to go up to the Sand Hills in Nebraska. We left her parents house at noon and headed west. It was storming earlier so the ground was pretty wet and it was still drizzling a bit. By the time we got to Lincoln, it had dried up considerably and things were looking good. Three hours later, we got to the Sand Hills. To me, they were beautiful! This is a part of the country where there is NOBODY around. The hills are grassy but you can see that instead of dirt, there's only sand. We stopped into a national forest that was hand planted back in the 50s and 60s and then decided to turn around. We didn't get back to her parents house until around Midnight! The good thing about this trip is that I learned that, for the most part, the people in this state are very friendly. I got stared at a bit, but overall, people were pleasant and I never felt uncomfortable.

The other piece of news is that I had an interview! Well, a while back, I sent my resume to what I thought was an event planning position. I received a phone call last week asking if I was interested in a tradeshow sales position. After talking to the lady, I cleared up the confusion and declined to interview for the sales position. I told her that my background is in event planning and she said she would keep my resume on file, in case anything comes up. Well, yesterday, she called and said something came up! I had a pleasant phone interview, even though I was a bit nervous (It all happened so fast, i did not have a chance to prepare myself for a phone interview) and I have my second interview on Wednesday. If I get this job, I'll be right across the street from the Sears Tower and would travel internationally! We'll see how it goes, keep your fingers crossed!

Nebraska

So, I'm in Nebraska right now, in the South Eastern part of the state. I'm outside the tiny town of Syracuse and it's beautiful here. It's been around 80 degrees and mostly sunny for the most part of the time I've been here. The people here are friendly, for the most part. I do get a lot of stares and such from people because I'm black but it's more out of curiosity than anything else. People have come up to me and after five minutes, everybody's all smiles and laughing.

The reason why I'm here is to help out a friend of mine. Her parents are older and have a lot of stuff that they are getting rid of. They are planning on moving at some point but wanted to go through their stuff and maybe sell it on ebay. So, they bought my plane ticket and paid for my meals. I just do all the heavy lifting and grunt work. It's a fair deal.

My friend and I have gone to visit a couple of her high school friends and I had a chance to play with their kids. Everybody here is convinced that I should be a teacher since they say I'm good with kids. I wouldn't do it because I don't like the thought of having a class with the only goal of passing some kind of standardized test. I know that there's more to teaching than that but I don't agree with a lot of what goes on.

Anyways, back to Nebraska. It's been fun, and considering I've been here before, I know the area pretty well. I can now get around by myself without worry about being lost.

Well, I better get going. I'm going to try to get some sleep. Bulls got the #1 pick! I'm happy...

Iran vs. Soviet Union

One last blog about this stuff.... Obama is getting hammered by everybody for his comments saying that the threat that Iran poses now is nothing compared to the threat that the Soviet Union posed during the cold war. Please tell me that you can see through this and realize that Obama is right in what he said and that the matter is being so overblown.

Look, the fact of the matter is this. Think about Iran, right now, and tell me how Iran can cause damage to any American city. How can Iran hurt us? Terrorist attacks? Terrorists, for the most part, are not state sponsored. Sure, you have groups like Hezzbolah but Al-Queda wasn't state sponsored and they prove to be a bigger threat to us than Iran. The Soviets had a couple thousand nuclear missiles pointed at us at all times. Hell, Russia probably still has them pointed at us. In 1983, because of a faulty computer, Russia thought that we were attacking them and they almost nuked us. They had the power to destroy every American city five time over...

Now, Obama wasn't saying that Iran wasn't a threat, but he was trying to put things into perspective. Besides, Iran is a threat that we created, by our policies we had in place during the reign of the Shah and the treatment of the Iranians after the 1979 revolution. Just like a lot of other problems that we face out there, we made our bed a long time ago and it's just time for us to sleep in it.

Appeasment

For those of you who say that we must not sit down at a table and talk diplomacy with foreign nations until a set of "pre-conditions" are met, let me remind you that the Korean war would have been over in 6 months had it not been for the American and North Korean's demands that certain "pre-conditions" needed to be met. Of course, their arguments were about the color of chairs and such but it is close enough of an example to prove my point. The Korean War went on for over two years after peace negotiations were started. Because both sides were consumed with setting "pre-conditions", some of the fiercest and bloodiest battles of the war were fought and that nation was brought close to nuclear war with China. Battles like the Chosin Reservoir, where many of our Marines froze to death would not have been fought.

This whole notion of having diplomacy after a set of conditions are met is non-sense. How often do you think that it would happen that way for us? Apparently, not too often if we have never had face-to-face talks with "rouge" nations like Iran and Cuba. We see it as bravado but it does nothing but allow whatever situation that is ongoing to continue and delay any hopes of a resolution that would be beneficial for all. Nothing gets done, people get upset because nothing is getting done and then bad things happen and people get to point a finger. The days of gun-ho diplomacy are over. They have done nothing but lead us down a dangerous path where we stand alone in the world, hated by all.

Hilary lost because of Sexism

There are many Hilary supporters out there that are calling for women democrats to not vote for Obama because he ran a sexist campaign (example of story here).

To those who would agree with this view, let me ask you this. Please forward to me links to news articles or video speeches that show that Obama is a sexist. I would love to see where you are coming from with this argument.

The reason why I ask this is because I believe that people who have this opinion are sore losers. To those who point out that I had said I would do the same thing if Hilary got the nomination, well, my reasons had nothing to do with with race or sex but with Hilary's politics and beliefs. I said that she is a polarizing figure, and she has proven that point. She says comments about nuking Iran and getting rid of OPEC and flip flopping on views just to get votes and I cannot vote for her. To those of you who say that she has lots of experiences, she served one more term as a senator than Obama so that's not that much more experience. Finally, I will stand by my belief that the wife of a CEO wouldn't be viewed as qualified to take over a company, so why would a former first lady? She has based her whole experience claim on this and this alone but is it a valid argument? If she does have the experience, why doesn't she elaborate on what she did during that time? And notice, I said elaborate and not exaggerate like her claims of being shot at while visiting Bosnia. Last but not least, Hilary has no shame in making race an issue. The past couple of weeks, she went from state to state saying Obama can't win the white vote and because of his race, he won't be able to win in the fall. Obama is not going out there saying Hilary can't win the male vote. Nobody was saying Hilary can't become president because of her sex.

Why I Refuse to Vote Along Party Lines

Some people have questioned me about my stance on voting Republican if Hilary gets the nomination over Obama. Well, it's simple. When it came down to the current three candidates, I did some research of my own (something that I feel most Americans no longer do). When it comes down to it, regardless of what you think may or may not be important, the next president of this country MUST be able to mend fences, not only in this country but abroad as well. The Bush administration has done a lot to soil our reputation amongst other world leaders. I remember back in 2003 when people were saying who cares if other nations don't like us. Well, if other nations liked us, we would have more support for our efforts in Afghanistan. We would have more support in curbing Iran, the real danger in the middle east. When it comes down to it, no matter how hard we try to deny it, we need the rest of the world just as much as they need us, maybe even a bit more.

So, the next president has to mend fences. That's why I throw my support with Obama. He is the best person, out of the three to go out there and rebuild our reputation amongst other world leaders. He has the greatest potential to cause other nations to regain their confidence in us as a world power. He believes in working with everybody to get stuff done, regardless of where they come from. This is exactly what America needs at this crucial point of our existence.

McCain, well, he talks a mean talk but he has proven in the past that he too has the ability to work with members on the opposite side of the aisle to get stuff done. His foreign policy might be a bit modeled after Bush's but it would be a bit better than Bush's than any improvement would be a great improvement.

That leaves me with Hilary. While I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, she is too much of a polarizing figure to get anything done domestically. Republicans really hate her. Conservatives really hate her. It wouldn't work out. Now, that was my initial reasons for not backing Hilary. Then she cried.

She used pity to gain votes in New Hampshire. Then she used her opponents message of change. Then she vowed to disband OPEC and to support the gas tax relief plan (which would only save us 30 cents per gallon but with summer coming, prices would rise much higher than that so it really wouldn't do much good anyways). You can't disband OPEC because they are their own countries, countries that happen to be sitting on the world's oil reserves so they have the right to control oil supply and prices. Just because we are the world's leading consumer of oil doesn't mean we have any right to tell the sellers what to do. And, if you want to find a solution to the rising cost of gas, you should do more than relieving the gas tax for this summer, with no way to stop oil companies from raising the price of gas by the amount of the gas tax. They figure that you are use to paying that much for gas, why not make even more of a profit. A coalition of economists have come out to say that the gas tax relief plan is a bad idea. When told to Hilary that economists didn't like the idea, she said “I’m not going to put my lot in with economists because I know if we did it right ... we would design it in such a way that it would be implemented effectively.” (Story Here) Does this mean she doesn't even have a plan developed yet? That's what it sounds like to me. There are a lot of other comments and views that Hilary has disclosed that I dislike. So, she is the least qualified person, to me, to run this country.


The problem is that this country is more than just the land of the free and home of the brave but also the land of ignorance. Voters will refuse to vote for Obama because he is black, or they believe he is Muslim or because his name is close to Osama's. Don't believe me? Then why are stories like this (read here) popping up? When I read news stories about how Obama is unelectable because of his race, or news figures are bashing him because they believe he is Muslim, I begin to wonder what exactly was so wrong about the comments of Rev. Wright. He hit a nerve with this country, but also proves a point. America has a huge race problem and because of ignorance on all sides, it is a problem that is here to stay...

Ravenswood 5k

So, I ran the race. Overall, I was happy with my performance, even though I ran it 5 minutes slower than what I wanted to do. But, I really wasn't worried about my time. The whole purpose of the race was to see if my knees would hold up for that distance and if I was able to have a kick at the end of the race. Well, my knees were just fine and I sprinted the last 400 meters or so with ease. The only problem is that after the first mile, my calves and back got really tight and by the end of the second mile, I couldn't feel my feet anymore (not sure what that was about but I'm not too worried about it).

I think I'm going to stick with the 5K and have that as the longest distance I will run. I forgot how much fun that distance can be. Meanwhile, I have some new goals to work on. I found out that the University of Chicago Track Club (which I'm thinking about joining) holds a couple of summer meets at Jackson Park. While the competition won't be the greatest (I'm afraid that there will be more kids there than anything), I think there will be a couple of people that will be able to give me a run for my money in the 200m (it's open to anybody and someone ran a 21 second 200 time last year which is around my PR). We'll see how that goes.

This is all in preparation for the Hayden Classic, an indoor track meet held in December at the University of Chicago. Now, that meet will be fun. People and teams from all around the country come to that meet and it's the meet that I have my eye on. If my knees hold up until then, I will be happy. After that meet, if my body is still up for it, then, I'll continue to run. If not, I would be happy to have that meet be my very last.

I'm Old

This is a weird time of life for me. I am realizing more and more that my body just flat out refuses to do a lot of stuff that i use to do. It seems that I lost a step and am not as fast as I use to be. I can't play as many volleyball games as I use to be able to, my body is sore a lot longer now then ever before after any physical activity, I'm just getting old.

What else? Well, I let my hair grow out for over a month. I found out that I have a lot of gray hairs, my hair is thinning out and all of this has been hidden from me since I shave my head all the time.

This is not related to being old but, yesterday, I stopped into a fleet feet to pick up my packet for the Ravenswood 5k. I decided to try out some track spikes that I saw and the sales guy sat me down and measured my foot. Now, I have always worn a size 11 shoe. The pair of running shoes I have now are 11s and they fit pretty well, just a bit of space between my toes and the front of the shoe. Well, apparently, I've been wrong about the size of my shoe this whole time because the guy told me I'm a size 9. A SIZE 9!!!! Wouldn't someone have told me at some point that I was buying shoes two sizes too big a while back ago? So, the guy brings out a couple of size 9 shoes and I can't get my foot into them at all. He goes up a size and still nothing. The moral of this story? If you have been wearing a size 11 for years, don't believe anybody telling you otherwise....

Why Can't He Close the Deal???

Read This

This is why I am disgusted with this country. All the talk about racial relations improving and we have to worry about this. Number one reason why Obama can't close the deal is because he's black? WTF... I can understand if you doubt that he has the experience, if you don't like his views on Iraq or the Economy, if you don't like who he hangs out with but IF you actually have to question if America is ready for a black president, then you have to admit that America has a race problem.

Trip to Haiti

After talking it over with a couple of people, I think I am going to organize a very small trip to Haiti for carnival next year! It's going to be basically the same trip I went on last year for carnival, fly into Port-au-Prince, drive to Jacmel (on the southern coast of the island), drive west along the coast until you get to the end, then turn around and head back to Port-au-Prince to go back home. Now, once again, this is all just wishful thinking until I talk to the brothers who organized last year's mardi gras trip and that won't be until Mother's Day. But, if it does happen, here's what you can expect.

First of all, most of the travel will be by truck (and I love to sit out in the back in the open air). It might get a bit dusty as we will be there in the middle of the dry season but I would rather deal with that then mud any day! There will be limited electricity for most of the trip and you will get breakfast, lunch and dinner. The food is pretty good and there's always something new to try. We stopped in a little town on valentine's day and had fresh fish and coconuts (not together but you get the point). I'm hoping that we can have some goat. Showers and toilets were pretty scary but when you have to go, you have to go and I got use to them pretty fast. Luckily, it's warm enough to take cold showers.

The cost for a week's stay, including airfare, sleeping room, transportation and food is about $1,000.00, I think. I'll make sure what the cost is when I talk to the brother on Mother's day. My cousin Ed can attest that it was fun and outside of the initial shock of port-au-prince (both he and I had never been there before we went for Mardi Gras), we felt very safe. I included some pictures from when I went. The first 50 or so were taken while in a booth watching a Mardi Gras parade in Jacmel.

http://picasaweb.google.com/santana.rich/HaitiPics?authkey=4b5qoirRo7k

Frontline's Documentary - Bush's War...

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/bushswar/

That is the website where you can watch the full documentary. Now, I'm not going to talk about the documentary itself, rather a comment left by one person that really irked me.

Calling it "Bush's War", when it looked more like Rumsfeld, or Cheney's war, appears to be a subtle way of turning people against the president. In your shaping peoples view of the politics you have failed to mention two important issues: First, that since "Bush's War" we haven't been attacked like we were at 9/11, the W.T.C. in 1993. Secondly, You haven't mentioned that missionaries, and their converts to Christianity were murdered repeatedly in Muslim countries, with hardly any converts, and now according to a Muslim cleric 6,000,000 Muslim a month are coming to know Jesus since "Bush's War". This latter development alone should greatly help keep us and Israel from being attacked again. Your perspective seems twisted, self seeking, not showing the whole picture, and an attempt to put our administration is a bad light! In addition to that it has the appearance of being pro UN, and pro Muslim, and anti Israeli since chemical warfare ammunition shells were found in Iraq, and the soldier said, they were developed to be used against Israel!

Now, there is a lot wrong with this person's point of view. He takes argument with calling it Bush's war. Well, Bush is the elected official, who appointed Rumsfeld and Cheney so it is very fair to call it Bush's war. To call it anything else will imply that Bush is not in control of our government since it is by his authority and his alone that we can go to war.

Second, and the reason why I'm writing this, is that he claims that because of everything that Bush has done since 9/11, there hasn't been another attack like it since. Well, that's like saying that because we put up a scarecrow, those pesky birds won't be eating our crops anymore. While we may not like to admit it, we are very blessed to live in a country where such an act does not occur very often. But, regardless of whatever security measures we implement, we will always be susceptible to terrorists attacks. We only fool ourselves into thinking that we are safe because of the measures we take in the name of protection allows us to do so.

I won't even touch the religious aspect of this person's argument since it does nothing but preach intolerance. But, the viewpoint that this person has is gaining momentum and being shared by more and more people.

Well, the documentary is starting up so I'm going to end here.

E-Harmony

Alright, I just blogged about the fact that I'm fine being single. There is one thing that bugs the hell out of me, those stupid e-harmony commercials. I hate them. I'm not even sure why, but I always hated them. That's all I wanted to say.

Talent Agency III

Well, so I'm registered with this agency and I'm trying to find a way to get my materials together so I can register with more. I'm getting my photos in order, trying to figure out which ones I want prints of to send out to other agencies, I'm getting my contacts in order so when i have my prints, I can do one mailing to all of the agencies at the same time and I'm starting to take better care of my body by eating better, working out more and drinking less. I'm also preparing a few monologues, just in case they are needed. It's exciting.

Frontline Documentary on Iraq

I will talk more about this later but tonight, on WTTW, there will continue a documentary on the decision to go to war on Iraq. It's sickening watching how our government came to this decision. You realize that the purpose of the war is not to fight terror or even for oil. It's so that a group of 10 or so people can get finally get what they wanted done 20-30 years ago and make a profit at the same time.

Search for a Girlfriend???

I'm single and I'm enjoying it. I think I'm going to be single for a while, by choice. If the right person comes along, I wouldn't pass it up but finding the right person is the key. Who is the right person for me? I'm not sure. Generally speaking, I'm attracted to women who have one or more of the following criteria - Athletic, intelligent, unselfish, open minded and adventurous. That's it, at least that's what I know of. Everything else is really hard to nail down. I find myself attracted to women of all races and heights and body shapes and hair and eye colors. So, I don't even consider that when talking about a possible girlfriend. So, if you know someone who is an athlete and a do-gooder, let me know.

The Talent Agent - Conclusion

I had my meeting with the talent agency yesterday to go over my test shots and see if I would be represented by them. I met with the head casting director there and she was very complimentary. Now, I realize when people are blowing smoke up my ass but this was not the case, she was pretty genuine, even offering to pay out of her own pocket for most of the cost of my portfolio, when I'm ready to do that. She went on to talk about my test shots, which are basically now my new head shots. She explained it this way. The previous time I was in, I took 50 test shots. They sort through the shots and try to grab, at the very least, 15 good shots. Every Friday night, they have a meeting with a group of casting and talent agents to go through all the test shots from that week to determine who has a good look and would be someone they would be interested in casting. Well, for me, they were able to pull together 37 out of the 50 shots and everybody liked my look. So, needless to say, they are taking me on! They gave me the contact information for a few other agencies so that I can register with them also (it's common practice to register with multiple agencies so that you can always have people trying to find you work).

So, I took my first step in the business. I know that the work I will be doing for the next couple of months will probably consist of print model and movie extra work but that's fine by me. How many other people can say that they are living their dream? If it doesn't work out, then it's back to corporate america for me but I'm going to enjoy every moment of my immediate future.

My Phone

My phone is dead. It fell into some water and drowned. I was hoping that it might revive itself but it's not looking like that's going to happen. So, I lost everybody's numbers. I'm going to get a new phone sometime this week. I might be sending an email to get numbers...

The Talent Agent -

I figured I should be a bit more specific about the talent agency. First of all, I signed up with them last fall, before I went on the trip to Haiti, but right after I got let go from ICPAS. I met with the casting director then but something just didn't feel right about the whole thing. So, I waited until now to follow up with them. This time, I met with the head casting director (the guy I talked to last time was there and actually remembered me, which I found a bit strange) and she told me that there is a lot of movie work to be done over this summer here in Chicago. She also repeated what I was told the first time and that was I could do fashion print modeling, with a focus on athletic apparel. All they would need to do is take test shots, which I had to pay for. I would come back in a week to go over the test shots with them and we would determine at that time if they would go on and represent me. If anything, i get the pictures and can use them as headshots. I get a 8"x10" and a copy of all the other shots. I checked out the agency with the BBB and they are in good standing so I figure, what the hell.

So, that's where I stand with that. I meet with them on the 20th to go over my test shots and I'll find out what the next step is at that time. For the first time since I got let go from ICPAS, I no longer feel aimless. It feels good to actually follow your heart. My next step is to re-take a class at Act One and use that as a refresher, since I haven't done stage acting in about two years. If I have time for it, I might take another improv class too... we'll see...

Weekend Update - March 15

What a weekend, and it's only Saturday night! It all started on Thursday. I went to meet with the talent agency and we took test shots, which is basically head shots but they are going to use it to see if I am photogenic. I felt that everything went well there so I went out for a drink afterwards at the blue frog. I set the date for the last of my Poker King Tourney qualifiers and had a burger and a beer. The guy next to me at the bar started to talk to me about poker and we got into a three hour long discussion on the finer points of Texas Hold em and Omaha Hi. Six beers and a shot later, it was off to the next bar to meet up with Love, my old boss and a good friend. After that, the night is a blur and I woke up Friday with a note left to me by my cousin saying that I left a mess everywhere, my shoes were outside and my keys were scattered all over the place. So, needless to say, I'm not drinking this whole weekend.

Friday night was fun, I went out to dinner with my friend Alison for her birthday and had a good time. That was about it for Friday, nothing special. Now, it's off to a St. Patrick's day party, even though I'm going to show up late. We'll see how the night goes...

My Blogs

Hey, just to remind people that I usually am writing this stuff off the top of my head so if you notice any wrong information, please let me know.

Thanks!

Tomorrow at 4pm

Meeting with a talent agent to see what my options are. While I am fine doing commercial print modeling (what I have been told my whole life I should do), I would love to see if this agency can get me TV commercial work, at the very least. We'll see how it goes.

You Ever Wonder...

Why is it that we knew where Osama bin Laden was at right after 9/11 and we only sent 7 CIA operatives there to take him down? Meanwhile, we send a majority of our forces to Iraq to take down Saddam, who had no links to 9/11 or Osama? To this day, the hunt for Bin Laden is a side note to what else is going on. We invade Iraq, we threaten Iran, we protect Pakistan and nobody cares about bin-laden. Now, it's proven that Iraq had no WMD, they were not planning attacks on the US and that they had no links with Al-Queda. Go figure, have a president lie about having sex in the oval office and people go ape shit, but have a president lie about a war and nobody cares...

What to Do?

This has been a rough time for me. After getting let go by my job, I thought that I would be able to find a new job really fast. I mean, I have more than enough experience to qualify for most of these event planning jobs and I am a great interviewer. But, it hasn't worked the way I thought it would. Slowly, my confidence in finding a new job is eroding and I know that soon, I'm going to have to do something drastic.

But, lately, I have felt that itch again to do acting again. I watch Who's Line Is It and remember how much fun it is and I start to miss being on stage. Well, I wouldn't do Improv again because I'm not great at it but I think acting make me happy. I see people like Hayden Christenson (Anikin from Star Wars) get roles and I know that there are a lot of people out there that can do better, why not me? I have no delusions of becoming an A list star, I would rather be a "That Guy" actor.

I am signed up with a talent agency and they want me to model for athletic apparel. The guy joked around saying that most of his models are too scrawny for the job and I would be a perfect fit. I'm going to have to work out more now but that's fine by me since I feel that I need to get back into shape anyways. So, I guess, technically, I'm a model but I'm not going to think about it until I go out for my first shoot. We'll see how that goes, I have to talk to them next week and meet with their photographer.

This blog was all over the place. I'm just trying to catch up with what's going on with me.

March Madness

I love this time of year! March Madness is almost upon us and it's time for Cinderalla's and brackets. I will be finding myself a nice bar to cozy up in and watch all the games. Anybody interested, let's go!

Did Obama Shoot Himself in the Foot?

Obama, you might be an idiot.  This whole time, I argued for you when people talked about your foreign policy views.  Preconditions?  I agree with you that they are not needed to meet with a country.  Setting up meetings with the leaders of Iran, Cuba and North Korea could do a lot to regain our level of respect that was lost during the Bush years.  But, you have done something that I cannot forgive.  

You see, you are so adamant about not setting preconditions and meeting with any and all world leaders that when I found out that you agree with President Bush on not meeting with the leaders of Hamas, it caught me off guard.  There's a group that a lot of your critics undoubtedly were wondering how you would handle.  Hell, I thought about it too.  So, I kept an open mind and wanted to find out your reasons why you would not meet with them.  Your reasons, as stated by the news story I read, was because Hamas does not recognize the right for Israel to exist and so they should not be negotiated with.  Well, pardon me if I'm wrong, but Iran doesn't recognize Israel's right to exist and has publicly stated that their goal is to wipe them off the face of the map.  How can you agree to talk to Iran but not to Hamas?  Keep in mind that Hamas was elected to power by their own people, unlike Iran.  There has to be another reason why and I tried to find one but couldn't.  

Mr. Obama, where do you really stand when it comes to dealing with foreign nations like Iran?  Are you changing your stance because the "experts" are constantly telling you why you can't meet with Rogue nations or is this just a flip-flop on the issue?  Why do I feel that I just lost some faith in you?

It's 3am and the Phone Rings...

To counter all this talk about being experienced enough to answer the phone at 3am to handle a crisis, let's remember that President John F. Kennedy wasn't "experienced" when he became president but he got us through the Cuban Missile Crisis, one of the most dangerous moments in human history.  When it comes to a crisis, there is much more than experience that comes into play.  A leader's judgment, personality, advisers, these all come into play as well.  

So, when it comes to the question of who I want to pick up the hotline at 3am, it sure isn't Hilary.  I don't trust her judgment nor her claims of experience to lead us through a crisis.  

Experience

My question today is this. Hilary is saying that she has the experience to lead from day one but where did she get this experience? Is she counting her days as being the first lady? That's the only thing I can think of and, for me, that means nothing.

I understand that Hilary took a more hands on approach to being the First Lady than many of her predecessors but does that really mean she gained the experience that she talks about? Not to me. You're the first lady, no matter what, you are not the one making policy, you are not the one getting out of bed at three in the morning because of trouble somewhere in the world, and you are not the one that other world leaders came to talk to. She may have wanted to be that type of person while she was First Lady but, let's face it, she wasn't.

So, if someone else can explain how she has way more experience than Obama, I would appreciate it. The only candidate that really had any experience was Bill Richardson and I would have voted for him.

Interview Yesterday

So, my interview went well. I do have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by how everything turned out. Let me explain.

When I received the call to set up the interview, I was a little perplexed. You see, I didn't remember applying for the position. It was one of those things that I was sending out my resume to a lot of jobs at the same time so I had to go back and search for the job description. Luckily for me, I saved every correspondence that I sent out to a potential employer because you never know when it may come in handy. So, I found the job description with ease. It wasn't until I was looking over that I realized that maybe, this wasn't that great of a thing that was happening to me.

You see, the job description didn't fit what I was looking for. To me, the position had an office manager feel to it than anything else. So, what was I to do? Well, I never would turn down an interview so I decided to go and use it to practice. They wouldn't want me anyways because all my experience is with event planning.

I showed up for the interview and met the Executive Director (ED). Well, my first impression of the ED was awesome. The ED reminds me of my old director, and my gut tells me that this person is someone who I can trust which is very important to me. The organization, which I had my doubts about working for, ends up being one that is civic minded, working with ALL aspects of the community. This is mostly because of the ED but regardless, the direction that the organization is heading is one that I can agree with and that's something that's very important to me. So, hopefully, I get a second interview and then I get the job. I have the feeling that regardless, something very special will come out of this. Keep your fingers crossed!

Da Bears

Much has been said about Rex Grossman coming back as a Bear. Well, I'm all for it. Don't get me wrong, I hate the guy because he's not consistent but when the guy is on and playing with confidence, there's nobody else in the league that can match him. He has the POTENTIAL to be that good. I just don't think he CAN be that good on a consistent basis. But, my fellow bears fans, the emphasis shouldn't be on Sexy Rexy but it should be on the Bears running game. You see, Lovie is right when he says that this is a run first team so we're not going anywhere if we don't have a running game. 2006? We got to the superbowl because we had a running game. Thomas Jones, might not have been the BEST running back out there but he was THE BEST FOR OUR SYSTEM. Because of him and the offensive line, we had running plays of over 20 yards a couple times a game and that is the difference between the bears making a deep playoff run and the bears going 7-9. Cedric Benson is not cutting it. He can't shake off the first hit and that's because he's running so top heavy that any contact will knock him down. He might have been a good runner in college but his pro game is horrible.

I understand why we got rid of Thomas Jones. It was all business. We drafted Cedric 4th OVERALL and because of that, we can't possibly keep him on the bench. We have to give him time to shine so Thomas Jones is shipped off to NJ for basically nothing. Well, the scouts that told the organization that Benson is a good runner should be fired. Either that or the running back coach should be because someone is either wrong or not doing a good enough job to make this work.

So, Bears fans, don't worry about Grossman or Orton, worry about Benson and Peterson and Wolfe, they are the ones that we need to debate on, who should stay and who should go. Rexy, I feel, has learned his lesson and will become more of a game manager, making smarter choices on the field and throwing less interceptions. By doing this, all we need to do is have a decent running game, with a runner who can churn out a consistent 100 yards/game and you will see our Bears back in the playoffs... and when they are there, I like our chances of winning...

My Life is Missing Something...

So, my life is out of balance at the moment.  It feels like I'm stuck in a rut and can't get myself out of it.  Something is missing in my life.  Well, many people have that feeling, right?  Lucky for me, I realize what it is that is missing from my life.  I need three things.

Music.  I need to play an instrument again, or better yet, I need to play as many instruments as I can.  I see a piano and I want to play it but then get frustrated when I can't remember any songs.  I miss playing and creating songs.  I miss how playing would calm me down.  But, it's not only the piano.  I want to pick up the violin again.  I want to play the trumpet and start playing jazz songs.  There are a couple of other instruments that I wouldn't mind playing and so I'm going to make it happen.  I have my violin, I'll get it tuned and start playing again.  My next place will have enough room for me to buy a baby grand piano and I'll buy a trumpet and start playing that within the next couple of years.  

Running.  I need to go out and start running again.  I watched the US Indoor Track and Field championships and I miss everything about the sport.  I miss the feeling of waiting for my heat.  I miss getting into the blocks.  I miss how it felt to finish a race.  I miss it all.  I'm not talking about marathons and distance running, I'm talking about 200 meters, 400 meters, sprint races.  So, I'm going to start training again.  I'm going to start running with the University of Chicago Track Club and hopefully, I'll be able to run a couple of meets later this year.

Acting.  There is something about it that I'm drawn to.  I love being on stage, I love the work you have to put into learning lines, I love going to rehearsals, I love being in a acting class environment, I love everything about acting.  I am very fortunate to have met so many wonderful actors and to see them work, not only on stage but in rehearsals as well.  This is something that I am very realistic about and I have no ambitions of making it big in this field.  This is something that is a lot of fun for me and I feel the bug every so often to get back into it.  It doesn't matter if it's community play or improv, soon, you'll find me doing something and you better be in the audience watching.  And, if I suck, go ahead and tell me.  Criticism is very important here and you shouldn't hold back.

Well, that's it.  That's all I need now to get my life back in balance.  Everything else will fall into its own place.  

Memories

Another poem.  Oddly enough, I wrote this on 9/11 apparently.  I emailed it to myself (my method of saving at the time).  

I'm left with memories
Of us holding hands
Making plans
To be together
Forever
But now
I'm just left with
Trying to understand
How this could be
Why did you leave me
In the cold
All alone
No support
Grasping at memories
Memories that betray me
Reminding me of
Everything we had
Things we did
Moments we shared
Our past tells me
Our love should have survived
It wouldn't die
It was endless
Beautiful
As bright as the sun
It warmed my soul
Gave me hope
Showed me the way
But now
I only have the memories

Lifetime

Written on Valentine's day, 2002 and was one of the last poems I ever wrote...

I might have spent a lifetime
Cradled within your arms
And you within mine
As we spend our time
Lost in our love
Holding you in the dark
On a cold winter's night
Or watching the rain strike
Against the windowpane
I might have spent a lifetime
Looking into your eyes
Listening to your voice
Hearing your heartbeat
As we lay amongst the trees
Watching the golden leaves
As a brisk autumn wind
Brings us closer together
And we swear that we never
Would ever say goodbye
I might have spent a lifetime
With your head on my shoulder
Listening to Marvin Gaye
As we danced the night away
With your hands in mine
Watching the sun rise
Waiting for the next sunset
So we could watch the stars
As they light up the night sky
Or take in a fireworks show
On the Fourth of July
I might have spent a lifetime
Preparing for that special day
Where you and I become we
Like two peas in a pod
Until we are old and grey
Watching our grandkids play
Maybe that is what will be
Together until the very end
I might have spent a lifetime
Just to find out

By R.Santana

© 2002 R.Santana (All rights reserved)

Political Defeat

For those of you that still don't know who to vote for, or maybe those that are just voting for a person because it sounds like a good thing to do, here's something for you to help you decide who to vote for.  

How these candidates handle defeat is key to how I am going to vote.  Do they accept defeat, offering excuses and moving on to the next issue or do they roll back the sleeves and get down and drity to work hard on improving themselves?  I do not want our next president to just sit there and give me excuses as to why stuff is not getting done.  I don't want a president who doesn't fight a fight all the way through, no matter if it is a losing cause.  I want a president who can accept defeat, learn from it and use it as a springboard for later successes.  

Personally, I think that there are only two candidates that have proven to me that they are presidential based on the criteria I provided above, Obama and McCain.  Early on in their campaigns, they both faced hard times.  They both tasted defeats and were talked about as not having a chance to pull of a victory.  They both regrouped and learned from their previous mistakes, went out there and preached their messages louder and neither offered excuses for their previous disappointments.  That's just my point of view.  

Freedom vs. Safety - 2nd Time Around...

From my other blog written last year but wanted to repost...

I was asked, not too long ago, "which would I rather have, Freedom or Safety?" At first, it seems like a difficult question. I mean, everybody wants to be free AND safe, right? Why do I have to choose between the two? Then I thought about it. The choice is not that hard at all. As a matter of fact, it's a lot easier of a question than we realize. If faced with the choice, I will pick freedom, 100%, hands down every time. Ask George Washington if he wanted to be free or safe, I'm sure he'll back me up on this. You see, freedom has never, ever been safe. As a matter of fact, to be free is to live in constant danger. Throughout history, humans have always tried to make others subservient and those who were subservient strived to be free. There will always be people out there trying to take away our freedom and we must always fight them.

So, if this question is so simple, why is there so much debate on the subject? Well, since the dawn of time, humanity strived for safety. It's something that is embedded into our very being. We need to be safe. That's why it takes a special person to risk their safety for someone else, put their lives on the line for an ideal or a purpose. When faced with the choice of being free or being safe, people are faced with choosing between something that we all strived for (safety) and something that is actually very foreign to mankind (freedom). You can't fight me on this, history is filled with civilizations that enslaved others. It is what we know, it was how we lived. Hell, even the bible listed rules regarding slavery (Leviticus 25:44-46) (Exodus 21:20-21) (Titus 2:9-10) and not one of them says to set them free. Freedom is a foreign concept to humanity. This is why we pick safety. This is why so many are okay with the loss of a few personal freedoms. They collectively scream "I WANT TO BE SAFE!"

I brought up George Washington earlier to make a point. He faced enemies that came from across an ocean to fight him. He also faced enemies that might have lived next door. There were a lot of colonists that didn't want freedom but wanted to be safe. They would rather be subjected to the rule of the King of England than rather control their own destinies. If it meant that they would be inconvenienced, they wanted no part of it. Why upset the status quo? England provided protection from the French and the Indians. They provided a way of life that made living for most colonists comfortable. They offered stability. The colonists were safe. Why upset that? Think about that the next time someone tells you that we must give up some of our personal freedoms to be safe. Think about how George Washington, Benjamin Franklin and the rest of our founding fathers would have felt if they were asked to do the same. Sure, we live in more dangerous times and our enemies are many but to be American is to be free. We owe it to all those that came before us to fight for our freedom. To sit back and let our freedoms be taken away in the name of safety is the greatest of insults to those who have fought and died for those very freedoms that we willingly give away.